It was the dawn of the Third Tournament of Nerd Wars, ten years after…uh…Stanley Kubrick was proved wrong?
Okay, so it’s not perfect. Let’s be honest, folks, there’s no way I can be as epically dramatic as Kosh and the-man-who-will-become-Valen.
Ranger Myriad checking in as official (un-epic, un-dramatic…if occasionally melodramatic) Team Rangers reporter for Nerd Wars T3. Wahoo!
Ahem. I have been informed that “Wahoo!” is not an exclamation of sufficient dignity for one of the Anla’shok. I will attempt to maintain a higher level of decorum in the future.
Although if Marcus is allowed to sing old Earth musicals, I don’t see why I can’t…oh, all right, I’m getting on with it! You know, I’m pretty sure Entil’Zha doesn’t want you using your Denn’Bok to harass your fellow…OUCH!
Ahem. Appearances aside, Team Rangers stand united and ready to reclaim their place as the ultimate nerd crafters! We may be squabbling about the relative merits of Marcus and Byron as shampoo spokesmen, but remember: “No one here is exactly as he appears…”
Although, really, folks, Byron may have an excellent head of hair, but there’s no way around the fact that he’s a smarmy git. I keep trying to find a reason to like him and failing. And how can you choose a self-righteous, holier-than-thou rogue teep over our own Marcus? Oh, all right, put the fighting pike away, I’m getting back on topic…
Tensions between teeps and mundanes have existed among the younger races ever since their existence was first revealed, but the Rangers are confident that we can all work together to attain our goals. Humans and Minbari have been able to come together–surely mundanes and telepaths of the same species can manage the same.
There is already a flurry of activity at Ranger HQ here on Minbar. I am not so foolish…
Despite what some of my fellows would say…OUCH!
…that I will reveal our battle plans here, but I know many of our members are planning to commemorate the destruction of the Narn homeworld in some manner. And Ranger Ciellel keeps disappearing into her quarters with her arms full of mice…the raucous quacking that follows these deliveries is enough to worry even Entil’Zha. I fear she may unleash an unstoppable, nibbling force…
Other Rangers continue their work as preservers of knowledge, uncovering texts which reveal the surprisingly crafty tendencies of some of our most revered leaders. Previous discoveries include an excerpt from the diary of Ranger One Delenn and a janitorial episode in the very sad (but at least symmetrical) life of Zathras, both discovered by former Ranger MichelleStitches. Ranger Ciellel has stepped into the archivist’s shoes this round, uncovering some of the lost writings (and sartorial exploits) of G’Kar.
We Rangers are nothing if not ambitious–many members have taken on truly astounding projects! Ranger Caitcreates has dedicated an afghan to the Anla’shok. Not to be outdone, Ranger MRPP will be uniting patterns and races in a Ranger-ific…
…Dignified Ranger sweater. In a nod to our Minbari brethren, FrauC is crafting a lovely sweater suitable for any member of the Religious Caste. Ranger DisplacedScarlet makes another nod, this one most elegantly coiffed (Clearly she has been taking notes in the Marcus vs. Byron debate…or at least watching all their shampoo commercials) to both the Rangers and Londo Molari. Finally (for today, at least!), Ranger MamaCat is making a gorgeous purple shawl of galactic proportions, over which I suspect there will be much fighting when the next Drazi war comes around. Come to think of it, I’ve got a pair of green mittens on my to-do list…perhaps we should just donate both to Ivanova, along with a green-and-purple ankle brace.
The quacking is getting louder. I fear we may have run out of mice. If you do not hear from me again…tell Marcus I would have gladly relieved him of that pesky virginity.
If you DO hear from me again, do not under any circumstances reveal that–hey, where are you going? I’m not dead yet! Look, I still have to work with the guy…oh, this is so embarassing…