My Children of the Night, I cannot believe we are one week into the first round of Tournament The Third. It has gone fast and so are all of your collective needles and hooks. We have had over a half a dozen projects already turned in so far. I, much to my chagrin, emerged from the coffin to the competition a bit later than I had hoped. But I had good reason for my delay. I had to take a few days to make sure that my three year old nephew was receiving a proper vampire education. The weekend consisted of Batman v. Dracula every night at bedtime and plenty of combat training with Zisa The Hellhound (see link to training video below….Godammit!) which every baby vamp needs to start off on the right fang.
This weekend got me thinking of other successful child vamps and lessons my young nephew could learn from them. Perhaps the most famous child vamp is Claudia from Interview With The Vampire.
Claudia was a pure, calculated killer. Little vamps could learn a few things about looking helpless and charming from her. But while she was a skilled hunter, her bloodthirstyness did not save her from the wrath of other vamps. Some suckers just have a problem with the preteen undead, so that is why it is probably best for the kiddie vamps to keep a low profile. Another Kiddo of the Night is Homer from Near Dark (you haven’t seen Near Dark?..you should see Near Dark).
Homer runs with a clan of adult vamps but he holds his own. He talks like an adult and acts like an adult. Because of that, for the most part his child-like appearance is not even noticed by the other vamps. This works well for him or any other trial-sized vamp who wants to be treated just like any other nosferatu. But his appearance is a huge sore spot for Homer and he lets it get to him when teased. He even resorts to some rather self destructive behavior due to his own insecurities. Not smart, Homer, not smart at all. Now if you want my opinion of the scariest child vampires, those kids from Salem’s Lot freak me out!
Ralphie Glick and his Schoolbus of Death tear through the warm blooded population of Salem’s Lot like a they are on a chocolate milk and pixie stix binge, starting with their parents and friends first. The kids are strong, demanding, and hungry! They also hold a grudge! You better hope you always ordered Girl Scout Cookies from them! So what do you think, Children of the Night, did I leave your favorite monstrous minor off my list? Let me know which bloodsucking babies belong in our Preschool of Pain in the comments below.
Now for my favorite part of the post, where I get to play like an undead Oprah and give stuff away! This being October and all, I wanted to do something different..something special. This is OUR month after all…we need to do it up right! That is why, for this month and this month only, every Team Bite Me member who turns in a project during the month of October will get a token of Team Bite Me’s undying gratitude. You will get a small homemade reversible project bag in a vampy fabric, 2 bite mark stitch markers, vampire blood hand sanitizer (to clean up after feeding) and a little vampire you can take in the bath (meee-ow!) plus a few other little extras. I do need to throw in a few restrictions, only one bag per vampire and the fabric for the bag may be slightly different than pictured. As your projects get added to the Team Roster list (check out Post 1 in our team thread) I will send them out to you, just remember to PM your name and address to me. Bags will be sent throughout the month. If you have any other questions, let me know.